Praise Be!

“Good girl, little Babushka!”

Recently, two of my coworkers attended a leadership training session and mentioned to me that they had learned that one of the qualities of a good leader at work is to remember to praise staff members when they are doing things right, not just to criticize them when they’re doing things wrong. This sounded an awful lot like one of the qualities of being a good pack leader to your dog.

Many people make the mistake of providing feedback to their dogs only when their dogs are misbehaving, and then they wonder why Fido is taking so long to learn how to behave nicely. Corrections let Fido know what we don’t want him to do, but how is he supposed to know what we do want him to do? Dogs aren’t born knowing these things. The trick is to get into the habit of praising him whenever he is doing anything that we appreciate, especially being mellow and calm. So if you walk into a room and Fido is relaxing on the bed and gazing out the window, it’s “Good boy!” Or if you’re outside and he’s lazily basking in the sunshine, tell him, “What a nice puppy!” You always want to praise and reward calmness and mellowness, never excitability, which can quickly spin out of control and turn into something much less pleasant, such as nipping or barking or knocking down small children.

Whenever I see any of my dogs playing nicely together or snuggling together or just being relaxed together, I throw up my hands and exclaim warmly, “Look how nice!” (”Nice” is our all-purpose praise word.) Praise for harmonious coexistence in the present will encourage and help to ensure future harmony.

Here’s another example of this concept in action from my household: When I feed my dogs, they all scarf down their food as quickly as possible—all, that is, except for Rowdy. Rowdy might take five minutes trying to decide whether to eat at all and then another 20 minutes actually eating. I always put up a doggie gate to separate him from the other dogs so that he can eat in peace. The other dogs, with their full bellies, line up along the gate to watch him eat. Now, what I want from them at this point is quiet, because if one of them begins to make a fuss, whining or barking, then there is a good chance that Rowdy won’t eat at all.

So as soon as they line up, before anyone has had a chance to start whining, I praise them in a falsetto voice that always gets their attention, “Good puppies! Mommy’s happy!” I don’t know if they’re familiar with the old adage that when mommy’s not happy, nobody’s happy, but they seem to get the underlying concept, because just a few repetitions of “Mommy’s happy!” at intervals keeps them calm and polite and allows Rowdy to finish his meal. You can choose alternate wording to praise your dogs that doesn’t sound as silly as mine, but the point is to dole it out liberally whenever you see your dogs doing good things, even if they’re just relaxing.

Soon it will become second nature, and you’ll notice that your dogs’ behavior is improving. That’s because you’ve become a better pack leader, showing them not only what type of behavior is against the rules but also what type of behavior is desirable.

Good pack leader!